“In these days I am merely alive, but not living”

“The events of August 2021 were the most memorable and worst moments of my life. When the Taliban took control of Afghanistan, I was in the 12th grade. It is difficult to express the feelings and thoughts I had when the Taliban invaded my country: Fear, terror, despair and more that began to consume my entire being. 

After months of living in constant fear, a dark and long night finally ended. After several months, with great fear and anxiety, I managed to go to school again. The condition of the school was disastrous, and I could not wear a school uniform, but long dresses and a black chador. 

Eventually, I completed my schooling despite all the difficulties and counted the moments until I could take the college entrance exam. I wanted to study journalism, and I aspired to serve the community in a professional capacity – to serve my people, especially women and girls. 

Simultaneously, I was attending classes to learn English and computer skills at a local institution in my province. My economic situation wasn’t great, but I managed to finish the computer course, although I had to leave the English class halfway because I couldn’t afford the monthly fees. 

A few weeks later, I volunteered to start teaching the ‘Effective Communication Course’ [at the same local institution]. For the first few months, I taught for free. Then, I started receiving an insufficient amount of money that could not cover all my financial needs, but it did cover some things, such as transportation. 

After taking the college entrance exam, I eagerly awaited the results. Finally, I succeeded in qualifying for my desired field (journalism). This was the most beautiful event of my life, achieved through relentless efforts, day and night.  

I was eagerly waiting to go to university and learn in my preferred field until the day that the gates of schools, universities and educational institutions were closed to girls, and I became a permanent homebody.