“When I went to the local councillor’s office, he demanded sexual favours in return”

Zarmina
former police officer, Kabul
© Sayed Habib Bidell

“Prior to the arrival of the Taliban, before August 2021, I worked for the police department, earning a monthly salary of 12,000 Afghanis. The fall of Kabul and the emergence of the Taliban in Afghanistan have been, and still is, very difficult for many. It was an abrupt change for me. I now lead a humble life with my four abandoned children, as my husband, who was an addict, disappeared and left us for good.

In a male-dominated society in Afghanistan, after August 2021, the burden of providing and caring for four children became even more challenging. Due to financial difficulties, I lost [the earning potential of] my eldest son, and he became completely paralysed from the waist down. In Kabul, all the doctors gave up on him and lost hope. I’ve encountered numerous difficulties taking care of my sons and daughters. We collectively decided to stick together through these hardships.

I've grappled with thoughts of suicide multiple times [and even attempted it] but ultimately chose not to go through with it for the sake of my children.

After the collapse, I couldn't cover the household expenses. I was overwhelmed by the hardships I faced; life had become impossible for me. With a monthly income of only 4,000 Afghanis, I took on a part-time job at a school to support my son and a sick daughter. I also have heart problems and high blood pressure. Life had become very challenging for me, and I contemplated suicide, twice seeking an escape from this difficult existence. However, my son found out, and it was his tears and pleas that made me change my mind.

After facing the challenges that befell me after August 2021, I often went to bed hungry for consecutive nights and had nothing for expenses.

I even sold some rugs and a few dishes I had for my son's medication. When my children asked for something, I constantly made excuses.

I wanted to seek help from aid organizations, but when I went to the local councillor’s office, he demanded sexual favours in return.

I then went to the mosque’s Imam, and he also asked me to engage in a temporary marriage (sigha) with him. I had nothing to sell and no money for my expenses. With tear-filled eyes, I returned home, and I lost hope of receiving assistance from the UN and other aid organizations.”

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